Money and Family

Hebrews 13:5-6 (New International Version)

5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."^[a] 6So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?"^[b]

^{I was just chatting to Yi Fang last night on msn, about how it's ironic that though we put down in our personal statements asking for entry to medical school in the UK that money is not the main reason for our wanting to be doctors, the crazy high tuition fees invariably suggests that we have to take a more practical approach to money...}

I just hope that that doesn't happen...that the love of money never takes hold of me... Because it can. And because NUS rejected me, my parents have to fork out quite a large sum... My dad's going to sell his shares in Sarin, which is a blue chip stock... just to get the starting capital to pay for the first 2 years there... what with the crazy accommodation prices and all... I'll definitely end up sharing rooms one lah... which is cool actually... =) But the point is, these shares are like his retirement fund... I suppose it puts a lot of pressure on me to come back and support him, which I definitely will... But also it pressures me to perform...

Life seems like an endless struggle to perform, like being a chimpanzee on a stage...

The only thing that keeps me sane is the knowledge that I am a child of God, that He Loves me and is Always beside me, watching over me and guiding my path...

"The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid."

I don't know what awaits me in Edinburgh. I don't know how I'm going to get through 6 years on my own, without my family's support... But I pray that I will be content with what I have, which is loving parents and a good family...

A few months back, Warrant Jimmy told me an interesting fact: when our brains listen to male voices, the part of the brain which is activated deals with mathematics, but when our brains decode the female voice, the part of the brain activated deals with music.

Which i thought was quite true... during BMT the best part of the day was either ice cream, or calling out at night... The first few weeks, I always called Zaneta or Christabelle, wanting to hear the music of their voices.

However, when I fell ill, and got very depressed to the point of contemplating suicide, I realised that these aren't as near as important as family. I realise now that my dad's way of showing his love and care and concern was to tell me to do things, which I felt was irritating, like an extra sergeant or whatever... But now I realise that he's so willing to sacrifice for me, and I've misjudged him cruelly... most of what he said was good sound advice, unlike what Christabelle had to tell me (no offence though, I enjoyed talking to her) and family were the people who carried me through, not friends.

I missed Gabby, my big brother... but I believe now that God took him away to Imperial London to drive me closer to my family...