Midnight

Haha Terence didn't take you long to find my blog...So I suppose CO's reading it soon... I really shouldn't have linked the blog to anyone's...

Yesterday I was walking down Orchard Road with a group of my HCJC classmates... Was going to see Chingay, apparently cos as Teng Soon put it "Grace is dancing"...
What Bullshit.
Grace doesn't care 2 hoots for me anymore...got too many friends haha...

Anyways, we walked past this guy who was giving out tracts entitled "e-Baal, video gaming"...which is a pretty extreme topic to be preaching to the teens along Orchard Road... I mean, DotA is like the hot thing at the moment... and WOW, AOE III, Gunbound (wahahaa), etc...

And this guy asked me "was that a Christian?"

And I said "yep"

Then he said "f$%^#$ right?"

I should've said "NO WAY"...I should've opened my mouth to defend, not turn away and run... But that's the BIG problem... Like you shouldn't ever be ashamed of Jesus and of His message... The more I thought about it, the more I was ashamed... like Peter...

There's this deep seated fear in me, a fear of rejection... since young, when I was a shy, withdrawn kid and bully magnet... It's something that I wish I could do away with, give to God... I fear all this, but what I can't seem to see at the spur of the moment is that friends may not last forever, but your eternal life, and the eternal God does. Maybe I need to pray everyday, as George told me...I think I should start now...

Oh Lord Jesus, help me come into a personal relationship with You. Please Lord, send Your Holy Spirit in POWER upon my life...

I think I must remember to ask daily... not just for things, but for a relationship with the Creator of All Things... I just hope, like Peter, that Jesus will reinstate me... Lord Jesus, You know that I love you... Let me love with my heart, soul, mind and strength... I want to know You more... Forgive my cowardice...Amen.


Sighs.